Can We Have A Happy Meal?

No....I don't mean from McDonald's! Over the years, I have had
countless clients ask me how they can enjoy a peaceful family meal.
In order to enjoy that vision, we have to teach the skills.

[Give them what they need now]

I have outlined here for you some quick tips so that you can start
enjoying peaceful family meals (or happy meals)!

Remember.... this can be fun and not feel like work!

1.    Teach your child how to use utensils properly.  They may not
know how to hold a spoon or fork correctly.  You can do this by
demonstrating how you hold the utensil.  If your child is working
with an occupational therapist, consider having this be part of the
session.

2.    Teach your child how to use a napkin.  I remember working with
an adorable little boy who thought the napkin was supposed to be his
hat.  He wore it during his meals.  His parents were not amused
when they dined out. It is better to teach proper use before
any bad habits develop.

3.    Teach your child how to chew properly.  Some children
experience oral motor difficulties and will need help in therapy to
learn the proper skill.

4.    Teach your child how to sit.  This sounds so BASIC.....doesn't
it?  But this is probably the number one issue my clients have
struggled with.

Some children sit at their seat and take a bite of their food and dart
off to the other room to watch a few minutes of TV and then RUN
back to the table for another bite.....and this cycle continues until the
end of the meal.

Make sure the TV, computer, play room, IPad, IPod, Wii system are
not allowed to be used during dinner time. Teach your child to sit at
the table with his or her family until the meal is over.  You can use a
reward to motivate your child to stay seated with you.

Remember to give verbal praise while your child is having dinner with you.
You can say something like, "I really love having dinner with you and I
am so proud that you are sitting at the table like a big boy!"

5.    Teach your child to ask for food politely or refuse food
politely.  If your child does not want her salad, it's not OK for
her to dump it on the ground.  Yes, this happened to one of my
clients.

Every time her daughter was given food she didn't want,
she would simply dump it on the ground.  Needless to say, this
caused a lot of stress during meals.  We had to teach her the
words, "No thank you."

We also were able to teach her to stop dumping food on the ground
by making HER clean it up.  This is a natural consequence, you make
a mess.....you clean it up.

This simple suggestion totally changed her behavior at the dinner table.
She was using her words rather quickly.  The same is also true for
requesting food.  I have worked with clients who told me that their
children screamed or demanded their favorite foods.

When I asked my clients if they felt comfortable with their child
talking to their teachers in this manner....they were horrified and
replied, "Of course not!"

If you do not want your child screaming and demanding
their favorite meals with their teachers or while they are on a
play date at someone else's home, then they cannot scream at you.

Children learn how they can behave in the world by how they behave
at home. Home is where they learn what is acceptable behavior and
what is not acceptable behavior.

I know this probably sounds like a lot of work to some of you.....but
it's all in how you present it and your attitude.  You can approach
this with positivity, a fun spirit and playful happiness.

Trust me....I have worked with families who almost dreaded mealtimes....
who now look forward to it with happiness.

============================================

All you need are some  simple, easy to implement strategies you
can begin using immediately, even if your child is still just
a toddler. In fact, it is even MORE crucial that you begin building
a strong foundation while your child is very little...BEFORE they
start school.

Remember, you have 60-days to go through the program
and actually start implementing the strategies with your child.

[Give them what they need now]

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[Give them what they need now]

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The Teacher Didn't Know My Child Is Autistic

One of the most important aspects of nurturing a child with autism
is to expand on their language and communication.

I'm going to draw on a real, practical example to illustrate the importance
of these skills, so please do make sure you read every word of this email.

The first thing you must do is distinguish between language and communication.

Language involves putting a group of words together and delivering a message,
exactly as I am doing right now.

Communication can involve gestures. For example, let's say your child really
wants an ice cream.  Your child might tug at your shirt, grab you by the hand,
lead you into the kitchen and point to the freezer. That's communication.

[Give them what they need now]

Your child didn't have to use any words, yet they're still communicating. It's
important to increase both language and communication in your child's life
and if you think about when we talk, we use words and we use gestures in an
instinctive manner.

Years ago I worked with a beautiful little girl named Marcy. She
had a limited vocabulary and she was definitely a child that
had better receptive language skills (i.e. the ability to listen to
and understand what is communicated to her) as opposed to
expressive language skills (i.e. the ability to convey our thoughts
into words with meaning).

One day, Marcy's mother came to me and she said "The school
is saying that she doesn't know her colors and I know she knows
her colors".

I also knew that she knew her colors and so did the speech
therapist.

So the family sent me into the school to look at how they were
assessing her and whether they were motivating her.

Marcy's teacher told me:

"When I hold up a red piece of paper and I ask her what color it is
she doesn't say red - she can't tell me that it's red."

This was the first indication to me that the teacher did not understand
how to assess the child.

So what I did was walk over and pick up some blocks and I said to Marcy:

"Come over here.  Can you please point to the yellow block?"

She did indeed point to the yellow block and so I said:

"Great job you told me what yellow was, very very good".

The teacher pointed out to me that the blocks I had picked up only
consisted of two color so there was a 50% chance that Marcy would
get it right.

So I then picked out different colors and I would say:

"Okay Marcy I want you to come and touch the blue one."

She'd come over and she'd touch the blue one and then at some point
I'd hold the three blocks and then I'd say: "Oh my gosh Marcy I have so
many blocks in my hands I can't hold all of them can you please take
the blue one?"

And she would come over and she would take the blue block.

"Oh thank you so much for helping me, you took the blue block.
Thank you, thank you so much," I said to her.

[Give them what they need now]

The point is I would praise her and turn the exercise into a game.
Marcy would consistently select or remove the right color.

I informed the teacher that even though the child could not
expressively communicate the color i.e. she could not say this
is green, this is red, she was still aware of which color was which.

In other words she knows her colors receptively, but she has a hard
time expressively.

To further prove to the teacher that she knew her colors, I knew that
Marcy loved coloring and coloring books I then used markets.

In my experience, children prefer to use markers more than crayons.
I had worked with Marcy's speech therapist who said that if Marcy wanted
to use markers, she wanted Marcy to make a sound to acknowledge this.

So I had crayons in one hand and I had the markers in the other
hand and I asked Marcy "Do you want the crayons?"

Marcy shook her head to imply that she didn't want to use them.
I said to her that the word she wanted to use is "no". I drew it out
as I said it to encourage her to imitate it.

She did indeed say "no" and I have her a lot of praise for doing that.

I then asked her if she wanted markers? She shook her head up and
down and also said "yes".

I wanted to expand her vocabulary so I asked her:

"Can you say markers? Put your lips together and make the mmmmm
sound for markers". So I encouraged her to at least start making sounds
for the start of the word, and I showed her how to do it.

She did it, and I then struck a deal with her.

"I want you to listen to Teacher Sandy and do what Teacher Sandy says.
After that you can do colors the way you want to," I said.

She agreed to that, and I would then ask her to take the red marker
and color a drawing of a dress, red. I'd also ask her to take out the
blue marker and color the bow blue.

This was really important for the teacher who was able to see that not
only was Marcy aware of the different colors, receptively, she was able
to follow direction.

It was critical that after Marcy followed an instruction correctly, I gave
her a lot of praise, and that I also made the exercise fun and playful.

It was necessary to keep her engaged.


[Give them what they need now]

This real, practical example illustrates how important it is, when you
are testing a child, or if you are working with a therapist, to ensure
that the people working with your child understand this basic concept.

There is a lot going on within your child and they may have a difficult
time expressing themselves.

For a proven, step-by-step blueprint, with precise strategies to nurture
your child's development, I encourage you to give Ultimate AutismSolution
a 60-day test drive.


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